


Not Allergic to You

by beanclumph



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Lovers, Hinata has competitive dumbass energy, Humor, Kags has a peanut allergy, M/M, dun dun dun, pottymouths, rated teen for cussing lol, they're not on the volleyball team in this, wack i know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22193701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beanclumph/pseuds/beanclumph
Summary: "Had he known that Kageyama had a peanut allergy, Hinata would have chosen a different flavor of cake.He’s gonna kill me, Hinata thought with resignation. At this point, he could only hope that Kageyama would be gracious enough to give him a quick death."
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	Not Allergic to You

Snow crunched underneath Hinata’s boots as he walked flat-footed in the hope of avoiding any black ice. He shifted his grip on the plastic container he was holding and desperately prayed that the chocolate peanut butter cake inside didn’t end up even more lopsided than it already was. Hinata had slaved for _hours_ to make that cake, and it still had the absolute _nerve_ to look so mediocre. 

Clearly, the cake had no idea whose party it was created for, much less how important it was for Hinata’s reputation. This cake was for Kageyama Tobio’s birthday, an event Hinata could not _believe_ he had been invited to. He and Kageyama were adversaries in almost every regard. Everything was a competition, and both had been keeping score.

Racing up the stairs had gone to Kageyama, a win Hinata bitterly attributed to his long-ass legs.

However, eating more meat buns than Kageyama in two minutes was on Hinata’s list of bragging rights.

As was the loudest belch.

Regretfully, the day they had a staring contest followed a sleepless night for Hinata, and he could barely keep his eyes open regardless, which left them tied.

So it was absolutely _essential_ that Hinata overwhelm Kageyama with his superior baking skills. He just hoped that the cake didn’t have other ideas.

Feeling like his fingers were about to freeze and snap off, Hinata unsteadily balanced the cake in one hand and knocked hastily with the other. Just as he was cursing Kageyama for being born mid-December (which, honestly, just seemed so _him_ ), Kageyama opened the door.

“Hey,” Kageyama said as if it wasn’t his birthday and Hinata wasn’t visibly freezing his ass off. His eyes shifted down to the cake. “What’d you bring?”

Hinata didn’t even attempt to wipe the incredulous look from his face. “A cake,” he answered flatly. “It’s a cake. For your birthday.” 

Kageyama’s lips formed an “oh” of acknowledgment, and he nodded twice. 

Hinata was in disbelief. Honestly, who greets their guests like this?! Before he started chattering from the frigid weather he was being forced to idle in, Hinata hastily blurted, “Can I _please_ come inside?”

“Oh. Yeah, here.” Kageyama took the cake from Hinata’s hands and stepped aside for Hinata to enter the warmth of his home. “You can leave your boots by the door.”

And then he just strolled away. Hinata mentally awarded himself an unofficial point for “better host.” He wrestled off his boots and, eager to see Kageyama’s amazement at his peanut butter and chocolate creation, sprinted into Kageyama’s kitchen. 

Kageyama unveiled the cake with a lot less ceremony than Hinata had hoped for, but his excitement was restored when he saw Kageyama lean in slightly to examine it. Sure, the cake was a little lopsided, but a thick layer of chocolate icing on the outside made up for it entirely. Bouncing on his toes with building enthusiasm, Hinata knew that Kageyama was about to be doubly impressed by the smooth peanut butter filling inside!

Kageyama finally spoke. “Did you make this yourself?”  
  
“Yep!” Hinata beamed, glowing with pride.

“Looks good.” 

Hinata nodded rapidly. “It is! Just wait until you eat some!”

Hinata had hoped that Kageyama would have dug in with knife and fork right then and there, but Kageyama insisted that they wait until later to have cake. He even refused to give Hinata his victory point until _after_ he tasted it. 

“But that’s not fair! You _know_ you can’t make a cake that even _looks_ this good!” Hinata had protested.

Unfortunately, Kageyama’s verdict didn’t waver. “It has to taste good too, otherwise you’re just phony.”  
  
_Phony_ , Hinata bristled. The absolute audacity of this man.

  
  


After centuries of anticipation, the time finally arrived for Kageyama to taste Hinata’s masterpiece. Hinata’s eyes deliberately followed Kageyama’s fork as it traveled from the cake to Kageyama’s mouth before disappearing. 

“Howy fhit,” Kageyama murmured with widened eyes. He swallowed his bite and turned to Hinata. “It’s amazing.” 

Knowing that was probably the biggest reaction he was going to get, Hinata beamed. “Thanks!” he chirped, cutting himself a slice.

Had he known that Kageyama had a peanut allergy, Hinata would have chosen a different flavor of cake. The whole vibe of the party had stiffened after watching Kageyama’s throat and face swell up before he jabbed an EpiPen into his leg. In tense, uncomfortable silence, everyone was sitting on couches either scrolling on their phone or staring off into space. 

Hinata’s face burned with embarrassment and guilt. Kageyama was better now; thankfully it was only a mild reaction, but Hinata knew he was still dead meat. Luckily, Kageyama was sparing him from being yelled at in front of everyone.

Instead, he was yelling at Hinata over text. 

_U tried to kill me?? On my BIRTHDAY?!?!_

Hinata gulped. He glanced over at Kageyama only to find out that Kageyama’s harsh glare was already on him. _He’s gonna kill me,_ Hinata thought with resignation. At this point, he could only hope that Kageyama would be gracious enough to give him a quick death. Still, he attempted to convince Kageyama to spare him.

_i didn’t know!!! i just saw the recipe online and thought u’d like it!!_

_Why didn’t u just ask u DUMBASS_

_I WANTED IT TO BE A SURPRISE T-T_

Hinata watched in terror as the typing bubble that had lasted for fifteen seconds abruptly disappeared. His fate was sealed. Kageyama’s text minutes later only confirmed this.

_don’t leave until everyone else is gone._

The atmosphere gradually softened once the shock of what had occurred wore off on everyone. A round of Super Smash Brothers had started up. Hinata tried his best to enjoy the last few minutes of his life.

A couple of hours later, people began to leave Kageyama’s house one by one as though they were sands falling through an hourglass. Hinata wasn’t exactly certain what awaited him when the sand ran out, but he knew it only meant doom. His final moment would be preceded by him scrolling non-committedly between Snapchat and Twitter, a fact he found minorly depressing. All too soon, Kageyama walked the final guest to the door. Hinata kept his gaze fixed on Kageyama as he stalked back into the room, unable to anticipate what would come next. 

The silence was deafening, and if Kageyama didn’t end Hinata soon, he was certain that his pounding heart would. _Christ_ , was a petty little competition worth being killed over? Hinata was about to go out over baking a _cake_ , of all things! He couldn’t leave a lame legacy like _that_ ! Maybe he could ask Kageyama to tell his friends that he died a different way, a _cooler_ way… What was a cool way to die? Sharks? No, he lived nowhere near sharks for that to be believable. Oh! What if he--

“I can’t give you any points for that cake.” 

Hinata, startled by Kageyama’s voice, took too long to register what he had heard and just stared fearfully at Kageyama.

Elaborating, Kageyama continued, “You tried to poison me. I can’t--”

“I did _not_ !” Hinata interrupted loudly. The disappearance of the looming threat of death made Hinata feel more confident. “And anyway, the cake tasted great, you said so yourself!”

“I’m not giving you a point for the cake.”

“What if _I_ give me a point for the cake?”

“Then I’m not acknowledging it, dumbass. As far as I’m concerned, we’re still tied.”

Hinata just couldn’t bring himself to be content with his unofficial victory. “But I _earned it_ ,” he whined.

“Then you can have a redo. If you’re _such_ a master at baking, you should be able to make another cake.” 

Hinata was irritated but had never been one to shy away from a challenge. In fact, he felt that he performed even better when motivated by spite. “When am I supposed to redo it?” 

Kageyama shrugged. “Stay the night. We can have a redo tomorrow afternoon.” He paused briefly, then leaned in. “And this time, _I_ get to try, so you won’t win so easily.”

Hinata weighed his options, which didn’t take very long. Baking was always preferable to death.

“You’re on.”

**Author's Note:**

> I legit considered tagging this as major character death for shits and giggles lmao. I'm honestly not too happy with this piece, but regardless I really hope you enjoyed!! Stay tuned for part two: the Great Idiot Bake Off ;)


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